Lies My Father Told Me

June 21, 2009 at 1:50 pm 1 comment

When I was but a tiny Dame, among the MANY lies my dad told me for his own amusement were:

1) Haggis is a creature that lives in Scotland. It runs around making a sound like “AGGGEEEESSSSS!”, which is how it got its name.

2) When you flip over an egg carton, the bits that stick up between where the eggs go are “the horns of a dilemma.”

3) After the kids go to sleep, the dog can talk. She only talked to dad, though.

Numbers 1 and 2, I believed for a surprisingly long time. Like, until I was a teenager.

Among the things he told me that weren’t total crap:

1) Don’t waste time on things that don’t make you happy.

2) Into everyone’s life some assholes must fall. It’s not you, it’s them.

3) Saving money is never a bad idea.
3a) Therefore, why not take a sledgehammer to your own wall, or paint your own house?

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. Love you a lot.


Entry filed under: The Fambly.

Flipping Google the Bird Staff of Life

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